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COVID19 KEEF20

My Money's on the Unbreakable Stone! COVID-19 isn’t going away any time soon and nor is the legendary Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards. In fact, if Coronavirus got within 2 metres of our Keef’s ox-like constitution, it would wave a makeshift flag of surrender. Mutter ‘how the f*** is he still breathing’, turn tale and head for the hills! Never, to be heard of again. Good riddance to bad rubbish!  

Vote Richards? We’d all like to be back on Planet Earth 2020BC: Before Coronavirus. The pandemic that's cut us off from the outside world, our families and all our besties. Did we do anything to it? I think not. Most of us didn’t even know what IT was until a month ago. But it took it upon itself to turn the whole world upside down, without so much as a by your leave. If Keef was in charge, he’d declare war on it!

Excess is his middle name. So how did Keef survive the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s? While so many of his musical buddies barely made it past 27. He admits to strolling down Oxford Street with a slab of hash the size of a skateboard. To regularly waking up to a ‘breakfast of champions’ (his words not mine), of speedballs, cocaine and heroin. Being busted by the Sussex Constabulary, while tripping on LSD. Describing the officers as ‘dwarves, wearing dark blue, with shiny bits on their helmets. So much for helping the police with their inquiries.

Indestructible That’s What You Are. Keef’s recently cleaned up his act. At the ripe old age of 62, he knocked cocaine on the head, literally. Completely shitfaced, he shinned up a tree in search of coconuts. Landing on his own nut seconds later. Baffled addiction experts wonder how he’s fending off the Ferryman, with freakish genetics and an unusually high tolerance to nasties. We could all do with a COVID19-proof constitution in the coming weeks.

Stick to the program! So, what do the rest of us do, who haven’t got a certain rock star’s cast iron constitution? Keep doing what we’re doing and we’ll flatten the Coronavirus curve. Frequently wash our hands, maintain social distancing and practice respiratory hygiene. If you feel feverish, have a cough or difficulty breathing, seek medical care early. Do this and COVID19 won’t have anywhere to thrive.

Body and Mind. Staying sane would be nice too. We’re all creatures of habit, so we need to find new routines. Our new normal might look very different from our old normal. Embrace it and see what happens, you might love it. Social Media is always getting bad press, often accused of NOT being very social at all. Well now is time to change all that! Adding value to our lives, by adding value to others is a start. We might even get our sense of achievement back.

Choose Your News Wisely. David Bowie once wrote, ‘I read the news today oh boy!’, and boy was he right. We can O.D. on too much Coronavirus news. Choose your sources, stick to how much you take in. Too much and anxiety and depression are just around the corner. One so-called expert, duking it out with another so-called expert, on repeat 24/7? Thanks! But no thanks.

All work and no Play... Learning new skills is unsurprisingly trending right now. Everyone’s at it. Binge-watching films and shows is proving popular as well. Personally, I’ve done both. You’re reading one of mine at this very moment, as a matter of fact. Making lists is a good way to stop that creeping feeling of not achieving anything. Putting a big red line through something, can make you feel a whole lot better. But please put some fun things on the list too. You don’t want to end up like Jack Nicholson in the Shining, now do we?

Kleened-up Keef? As he approaches the end of his seventh decade, I wonder how Krazy-Kat-Keef, views a world locked in COVID19 inertia. His hell-raising days are as mythical as giants and dragons. No one wants to hear of Keef, the avid antique book collector. Or Keef’s love of public libraries. Or Keef’s attempts to catalogue thousands of volumes, according to the Dewey Decimal system. I do but then again, I’ve never been quite right.


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