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Showing posts from April, 2020

COVID the hour, COVID the Man?

Do nations end up with the leaders they deserve? Possibly. But if the COVID19 pandemic has done anything, it’s thrown world leaders into sharp relief, revealing exactly what kind of leadership qualities they actually possess. Coronavirus offers a politician no cover whatsoever to hide behind. They either deal with it or they don’t. F***wits get found out! Maskless Mike? This week the Vice-President of the United States, Mike Pence visited a Coronavirus Testing Facility in Minnesota. He chose to ignore their regulations and not wear a protective mask. Later he said. ‘Since I don't have the coronavirus, I thought it'd be a good opportunity for me to be here, to be able to speak to these researchers, these incredible health care personnel and look them in the eye and say thank you.’ Last time I looked you don’t wear a COVID19 protective mask over your eyes, Mr Vice-President. America First. Minnesota Last? Pence was the only one inside the facility not to wear a face mask. Ima

Donald Trump: The Eminem of Politics?

In the song ‘Without Me’ , Marshall Mathers (Eminem) talks about the public needing his alter ego Slim Shady, 'Cause we need a little controversy, Cause it feels so empty without me.’ The same could be said of Mr Orange in The Whitehouse. What will we have to write about if we don’t have the 45 th  President? The meme makers will be redundant. The outraged will have little to be outraged about. Politics will be handed back to the politicians. Boo! Disapproval Rating? Donald’s approval rating is more than 20% down on George ‘Double-Yew’ Bush. Really? Never was there a greyer President, except of course, his Dad. Dangerous Donald survived impeachment which is more than Tricky Dicky did, who quit before the heat really got turned up. The other two were forgettable professional politicians, Andrew Johnson (Lincoln’s Vice President) and Bill Clinton (husband to crooked Hilary). The thing about Donald is that he’s so deliciously amateur, a car crash waiting to happen. Who can resist r

Who do you think you are kiddin’ Mr. Coronavirus?

You haven’t got us on the run!   We grew up watching an Army of old blokes, poke fun at a hysterical little man with only one testicle. We chuckled at Knights with coconut sound effects, armed with killer one-liners. So COVID19,  I fart in your general direction, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. What you’ve handed humanity is just a flesh wound! We are the Knights who say...COVID19 is just a sick Joke? Black Humour Rules OK!  One thing you can count on in a time of crisis is for black humour to turn up in peculiar places. Coronavirus has spun our lives out of our control. Forcing us to distance ourselves from mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends and relations. Making them smile, at a safe distance puts our hand back on the tiller for a split second. Connecting us once again, as Mastercard would put it. Priceless. Your funny bone’s connected to your tragic bone!   Tragedy and comedy, it seems don’t live very far from each other. In fact, th

Will the Coronavirus crisis stick to Teflon Don?

In an election year, President Donald Trump has delivered on his 2016 promise of Making America Great Again. The U.S. has the GREATEST rate of COVID19 infection on the planet. With the numbers of Americans contracting the virus, growing rather than flattening. Like some demented Mr  Miyagi , Donald’s replaced ‘Wax On, Wax Off’, with ‘Lie On, Lie Off’. Furiously deflecting COVID19 body blows, that might damage his monstrous ego in the polls. Scapegoat Hunting?   Look over there The World Health Organisation, ‘called it wrong.’ W.H.O. actually called it on the 30th of January, declaring COVID19 a public health emergency. A whole month later Teflon Don tweeted, ‘The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA’. Eventually the penny dropped and Trump declared a national emergency, 43 days after W.H.O. called it. Maybe Donald’s hearing is going too? Testing Times!   Testing has been described as the window onto Coronavirus and its spread. Without testing, no-one can understan

Would a COVID19 U.S.A. be safer under a First Lady?

If the present pandemic   has taught us anything, it’s female world leaders cope better with a country in crisis. Is it a coincidence that leading ladies, rather than leading men have received praise for their handling of Coronavirus? While their more bullish male counterparts, have made schoolboy errors! The two Alpha Males that spring to mind are of course President Trump and Prime Minister Johnson. Heil Trump!   First President Donnie didn’t take too kindly to coming under fire in ‘Fake News’, for his painfully slow reactions to COVID19. Remember a n arcissist is simply irritating when times are good, but are downright debilitating in times of crisis. ‘Everything we did was right’, which of course was wrong. Pressed on reopening parts of America, he raised eyebrows. ’When somebody is president of the United States, your authority is total.’ God help his fellow Americans. ‘COVID’ Johnson NOT ‘Brexit’ Boris.   Surprisingly PM Boris won’t go down in history for steering Britain ou

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Coronaviral World!

Krazy-Kaper-Kramer! In 1963, a madcap caper movie called ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’, was released. Directed by the great Stanley Kramer, described by Spielberg as an ‘incredibly talented visionary’. You ain’t kiddin’ Steven, the title alone perfectly describes the sitcom we now all find ourselves in. Surviving Coronavirus. Updated and retitled for the New Roaring ‘20s, ‘Surviving Coronavirus’ has the blackest of black comedy plots. Its storyline follows a microscopic serial killer, hell bent on wiping out the world as we know it. With a body count to rival despots like Mao Zedong, Joe Stalin, Adolf Hitler and my own personal favourite, Leopold II of Belgium. Has COVID19 tipped us over the edge? From Finnish novelty toilet roll cakes, to Vietnemese Coronaburgers. Apparently, we need to ‘eat it, to beat it’. In partially locked-down Madrid, an enterprising dog owner advertised pooches for rent on Facebook. Allowing his fellow stir-crazy  Madrileños  to walk his dogs, at very r