Who's over COVID19? Who's had enough of masks, comical fist bump/handshakes, while going stir-crazy with caged-up kids and other halves? The trouble is, this pesky strain of Coronavirus won't go away quietly. To defeat it, we the human race have to get the number of COVID19 cases to zero. Yes zero. Everywhere.  The thing about viruses is that they don't do border control. They spread faster than toupees in a hurricane. The Spanish Flu of 1918 reached remote islands within months, without the aid of modern air travel. In fact, all it needed to travel was air itself. So, it's down to us to stop COVID19 from returning again and again, like an unwelcome uncle who seems to crash permanently on your sofa. The really tricky thing about COVID19 is that the total number of cases isn’t known. Only cases confirmed by a Coronavirus test are actually known. Databases are being built so that visualisations of the curve can explain if we humans are making progress. The only way to...

Yes, we’ve all had to   get used to being frightened to death by switching on the six o’clock news for the latest Coronavirus death toll. But like Eric Idle jauntily warbling on the cross, let’s take five minutes to look on the bright side of COVID19. E ver since a new   and novel strain of Coronavirus emerged from the wet markets of Wuhan, our world has been put on hold. We and all those close to us, now live under the fear of death. COVID19 will go down in history, alongside those other decimating deceases, Spanish Flu and the Black Death. But how can we take any positives   from COVID19 when schools are being closed, people are being laid off, hoarding is rife, staying home is the norm and hospitals are overwhelmed with the sick and the dying? The uncomfortable truth is, a global pandemic was always going to happen. The World Health Organisation has been warning governments for years but they simply chose not to listen. Although any death is a death too many , in the c...

The U.S. now holds the world record for the highest number of its citizens infected by COVID19. If there was a podium at the Olympic Coronavirus Games, President Donald would be standing atop of the tree, proudly taking the applause of a huge, imaginary crowd of his supporters. (Not unlike his phantom inauguration throng!) His view is that America’s 1.5 million cases, together with a staggering 92,000 deaths, is some sort of spiky red ‘BADGE OF HONOUR’? Spinning is winning! Like an expert spin doctor, President Donald tried to explain his country’s Coronavirus record. ‘You know when you say that we lead in cases, that's because we have more testing than anybody else. So, when we have a lot of cases, I don't look at that as a bad thing. I look at that as, in a certain respect, as being a good thing because it means our testing is much better.' Duh! According to an Oxford University scientific publication, the U.S. lags globally behind other countries in testing, on a per cap...

Self-isolation across the nation. I have to admit to be more of a Bowie kinda guy but Slade’s 1972 foot-stomper ‘Mama Weer All Crazee Now!’, recently uploaded from some forgotten school memory, directly into my self-isolating bonce. Who’d’ve thought, Noddy and Jim’s teeny classic, decades after being penned, would perfectly describe what a bemused world population is currently experiencing? International ‘Climbing Walls Championships'.  Slowly but surely cogs are beginning to come off spindles between our collective ears. COVID19 lock-down has caused some ordinary Terry and Junes to begin to crawl up the wall, over the ceiling and down the other side of the room. Their homes have been slowly transforming into prison cells but some refuse to be caged in. Like the neighbour caught heading out, ninja-like, disguised as a bush! Joking aside, more of these click-bait pranks are actually going to have us all cooped-up for even longer. COVIDIVORCE?   Relationships are being pu...