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U.S. claims COVID19 ‘badge of honour’?

The U.S. now holds the world record for the highest number of its citizens infected by COVID19. If there was a podium at the Olympic Coronavirus Games, President Donald would be standing atop of the tree, proudly taking the applause of a huge, imaginary crowd of his supporters. (Not unlike his phantom inauguration throng!) His view is that America’s 1.5 million cases, together with a staggering 92,000 deaths, is some sort of spiky red ‘BADGE OF HONOUR’?

Spinning is winning! Like an expert spin doctor, President Donald tried to explain his country’s Coronavirus record. ‘You know when you say that we lead in cases, that's because we have more testing than anybody else. So, when we have a lot of cases, I don't look at that as a bad thing. I look at that as, in a certain respect, as being a good thing because it means our testing is much better.' Duh! According to an Oxford University scientific publication, the U.S. lags globally behind other countries in testing, on a per capita basis. Admittedly, America is ahead of South Korea but lies 16th on a league of nations, behind Donald’s comrades in Russia. Соси это, толстяк!

600,000 Tests Short! According to a Harvard Global Health expert, the U.S. needs 900,000 tests every day, simply to keep up with COVID19. Then admitted that America is currently testing just a third of that number. Trump’s fellow Republican, Senator Mitt Romney poured scorn on his country’s Coronavirus testing record to date. Saying it was ‘nothing to celebrate because the U.S. treaded water in February and March.’ Oh dear Mr President!

Coronavirus: www's turn to shine? Has self-isolation forced us to re-evaluate ourselves and rediscover the unsaid ‘c’- word, community? In doing so, maybe the internet has belatedly redeemed itself, with all the original hope we first imbued upon it. Contacting friends and family, sharing food and loo-roll shortages, keeping us educated, fit and able to worship any deity we wish to. Ideas, culture and knowledge tapped out on a trillion keyboards, by fingers of every colour and creed, have shown there is a LIGHT WEB, as well as a dark. Get the bunting out guys and gals, I feel a celebration coming on!

The Light Web? Why not? It’s about time! Technology has taken a bashing in recent times and the internet in particular. Is COVID19 the opportunity to turn the lights on? In our darkest 21st Century Hour, our ability to be generous, communal and social is unlimited online. We can participate, share and cooperate till our hearts content. There is no lid on our ability to create, innovate and experiment. It is up to us, how open, respectful and fair we want to be. We can make this time, the New Age of the World Wide Web. Let’s hope it’s a turning point for the better, where the majority take ownership, wrestling the web back from the Dark Side. Christ, I sound like Obi-Wan Kenobi! May the farce be with you.

Hands up who misses a hand shake? When will the good old-fashioned handshake make a comeback? Simple, symbolic, understood the world over. Was it an Ancient Greek invention, to prove you weren’t packing a concealed weapon? Or was it the Knights of Medieval Europe, who adopted the shaking action, to loosen a sharp object from the clothing of a stranger? Or was it the egalitarian Quakers, who thought it was less stuffy than a more formal bow? Personally, I miss this good old-fashioned gesture the most. Elbow bumping is never going to seal the trillion, dollar deal in a zillion, years.

So, what else we got? How about a Samoan ‘eyebrow flash’? Just raise your eyebrows and flash a beaming smile as you greet the other person.  In Hawaii, they do the surfer shaka sign. Middle three fingers down, thumb and pinky up. Shake back and forth for full ‘bro-ness’. (Imagine you’re meeting Keanu Reeves.) My favourite, non-contact handshake substitute is the Muslim, hand over a heart. A signal of respect to greet someone you don’t know well. Way back in the 1920’s Nursing Journals advised against handshaking, as it encouraged the transfer of bacteria. Remember this was just after the deadly Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918. Their recommendation was to adopt a Chinese custom, of shaking your own hands together, when meeting a friend. Oh, irony of ironies. The end.





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