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It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Coronaviral World!

Krazy-Kaper-Kramer! In 1963, a madcap caper movie called ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’, was released. Directed by the great Stanley Kramer, described by Spielberg as an ‘incredibly talented visionary’. You ain’t kiddin’ Steven, the title alone perfectly describes the sitcom we now all find ourselves in.

Surviving Coronavirus. Updated and retitled for the New Roaring ‘20s, ‘Surviving Coronavirus’ has the blackest of black comedy plots. Its storyline follows a microscopic serial killer, hell bent on wiping out the world as we know it. With a body count to rival despots like Mao Zedong, Joe Stalin, Adolf Hitler and my own personal favourite, Leopold II of Belgium.

Has COVID19 tipped us over the edge? From Finnish novelty toilet roll cakes, to Vietnemese Coronaburgers. Apparently, we need to ‘eat it, to beat it’. In partially locked-down Madrid, an enterprising dog owner advertised pooches for rent on Facebook. Allowing his fellow stir-crazy Madrileños to walk his dogs, at very reasonable rates.

More Heat Vicar? A Plymouth vicar caught fire while giving an online sermon. (Bible-bait?) While in Hong Kong, a hedge fund manager was filmed smearing saliva on a metro handrail. (Dick-bait?) Further north zee Germans ave zee website funktioniert, wenn Ihr Toilettepapier KAPUT ist! (Bum-bait?)

Worshippers flock to Good Friday drive-in? Also in Germany Christians got creative to celebrate Good Friday, while still practicing social distancing. A ‘drive-in’ service was held in a massive car park. With parishioners following the mass safely from behind windscreens. One of the clergymen said, ‘When people are praying and singing together in their cars, it’s an encouraging sign and shows that they're not alone.’ Sweet.

Doctor Hyena Will Eat You Now. In Somalia’s capital Mogadishu, instead of going to the doctors, you go and see a caged Hyena. The animal’s deep growls reverberate and supposedly frighten away evil ‘jinns’ (spirits), Coronavirus included. In Belgium, self-isolating researchers, have developed an environmentally friendly, insect lava butter to spread over their waffles. Yum!

Corona Car drives Indian public awareness. In Hyderabad, a coronavirus car was unveiled to create awareness about the dreaded virus. The owner of ‘Sudha Cars’, explained why he built it. ‘To bring awareness about COVID19 and encourage people to stay at home. I want to give a clear message to people not to come out and stay safe.’ Hear hear!

Easter bunny & tooth fairy 'essential workers'? New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern announced that the list of essential workers during the coronavirus crisis will be added to. Medical personnel, police officers, pharmacists, grocery store workers and the like, will be joined on the frontline by the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. ‘Injecting levity into a serious situation’. Now there’s a leader.

COVID19 Control to President Trump! In the US, masks were recommended to be worn by the public, in an effort to help fight the spread of Coronavirus. But no sooner had President Trump made the announcement, he said he had no intention of wearing one himself. Confusingly the First Lady later tweeted, ‘As the weekend approaches I ask that everyone take social distancing & wearing a mask/face covering seriously.’ Have a f***ing word Melania!

Golden Loo Disappears… Cheeky burglars stole a fully-functional 18-carat gold toilet from Blenheim Palace. It had just been installed as an art exhibit. The artist denied that this was a Banksy-style prank and failed to say whether, in the current Coronavirus climate, the accompanying bog roll had also disappeared too. Bummer!






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