‘COVID Clinton’? It’s all Hillary’s fault!

President Donald Dump pointed out way back in 2016, that all the woes of America were the fault of one woman and one woman only: Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton. This of course, includes the Coronavirus known as COVID19. Has the President been off his meds again? ‘At first I didn’t believe it because I did not think a woman could spread a virus. Hillary, she must be a cyborg; they’re totally nasty. Cyborgs. Nasty.’ Donald has even upgraded his handle for his former Presidential rival from ‘Crooked Hillary’ to ‘COVID Clinton’.  

Hillary, Me Old China. Hillary was always going to return and be a thorn in the portly side of the President. Now she’s back and has really rattled Donald’s cage, ‘Guess who spread the novel Coronavirus around the U.S? ‘COVID Clinton’. I have handled this whole thing perfectly. Everything that went wrong in the U.S is because of her.’ Trump then tweeted an explanation of sorts, ‘I have a lot of different nicknames for Hillary – ‘Evil Pantsuit Woman,’ ‘Swamp Lady’ but no, ‘COVID Clinton’ works best.’

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! Former Mayor of New York and Trump’s personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, then weighed in on Fox News, accusing Hillary of conspiring with China to plant Coronavirus in the United States. According to Rudy, ‘COVID Clinton’, the Justice Department and the FBI put together a large operation to bring down the Trump administration.

Email Evidence? This whole ‘COVID Clinton’ thing is based on deleted emails found in Hillary’s gmail account, dug up by former director of the FBI James Comey. Obviously climbing the walls in isolation, Comey examined Clinton’s abandoned White House computer and found conclusive proof, that Hillary knew of the coming pandemic. And the evidence? She bought the maximum amount of toilet paper online before anyone else could. Together with Bill, on a separate account, also increasing their toilet paper stash.

Golf, Cake and Putin. President Trump is convinced the Russians and in particular, his bromance with Vladimir Putin, had nothing to do with COVID19. Why would they? Donnie and Vlad often share a cosy Zoom call, where they enjoy a round of Playstation golf, over a slice or two of chocolate cake. Apparently, Vladimir tutors Donald on judo once a week and they hope to hold a ground-breaking virtual judo competition soon. The President said, ‘Putin and I are very good friends and have lots of fun together. There’s absolutely no way my great friend Putin would help COVID Clinton.’ Easy Tiger!

COVID Bat Lady? Hillary responded, obviously taking time off from tending her colony of COVID riddled bats, ‘Donald did promise America First’. A comment in light of news that America leads the world, mid pandemic, in confirmed Coronavirus cases. She followed this up by tweeting to her fellow Americans, ‘Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse.’ Referring to Donald removing his protective glasses during the eclipse in 2017. Ouch! 

Is Donald bored? She went on to point out that Coronavirus ‘really sums up the deep failures’ in Donald’s character. Questioning his powers of concentration, she believes Donald has become ‘bored’ with the COVID19. ‘Obviously I tried to warn about him when I was running against him and yet I hoped, along with many Americans, that he would rise to the job. Sadly, he's been even worse and the COVID-19 crisis really sums up the deep failures of his presidency.’ Remind me never to get on the wrong side of Mrs Clinton.