My Money's on the Unbreakable Stone!   COVID-19 isn’t going away any time soon and nor is the legendary Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards. In fact, if Coronavirus got within 2 metres of our Keef’s ox-like constitution, it would wave a makeshift flag of surrender. Mutter ‘how the f*** is he still breathing’, turn tale and head for the hills! Never, to be heard of again. Good riddance to bad rubbish!    Vote Richards? We’d all like to be back on Planet Earth 2020BC: Before Coronavirus. The pandemic that's cut us off from the outside world, our families and all our besties. Did we do anything to it? I think not. Most of us didn’t even know what IT was until a month ago. But it took it upon itself to turn the whole world upside down, without so much as a by your leave. If Keef was in charge, he’d declare war on it! Excess is his middle name.   So how did Keef survive the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s? While so many of his musical buddies barely made i...

Living in a B-Movie? The thing about being locked away for any length of time, is that it tends to mess with your top-deck's wiring. Coupled with the need to while away countless evenings, we’ve collectively turned to the likes of Netflix or Amazon Prime, to take our minds off the current Coronavirus conundrum. But what do we find? A whole host of movies and shows that instead of whisking us away from the real pandemic crisis, lands us slap bang into a screenwriter’s version of our current situation! Homadamus?   The Simpsons have for years been accused of having a crystal ball, allowing them to predict events with uncanny accuracy. Matt Groening’s creation has nailed Trump’s tenure in the White House, Smart Watches, FaceTime, Autocorrect Fails, even Lady Gaga’s half-time Superbowl entrance. They’re no stranger to predicting Viruses either, with them spooking America during the 2014 Ebola outbreak. Marge is seen reading Bart a book entitled ‘Curious George and the E...

Self-isolation across the nation. I have to admit to be more of a Bowie kinda guy but Slade’s 1972 foot-stomper ‘Mama Weer All Crazee Now!’, recently uploaded from some forgotten school memory, directly into my self-isolating bonce. Who’d’ve thought, Noddy and Jim’s teeny classic, decades after being penned, would perfectly describe what a bemused world population is currently experiencing? International ‘Climbing Walls Championships'.  Slowly but surely cogs are beginning to come off spindles between our collective ears. COVID19 lock-down has caused some ordinary Terry and Junes to begin to crawl up the wall, over the ceiling and down the other side of the room. Their homes have been slowly transforming into prison cells but some refuse to be caged in. Like the neighbour caught heading out, ninja-like, disguised as a bush! Joking aside, more of these click-bait pranks are actually going to have us all cooped-up for even longer. COVIDIVORCE?   Relationships are being pu...

Alexander the Fruitcake? In the race to be the craziest world leader, you'd have thought Donald Trump, Boris Johnson and Kim Jong-un would be front runners. Well think again. President Alexander Lukashenko of Belarussia is currently romping away with the title. When every other country is closing borders, outlawing sporting events and mass gatherings, while practicing social distancing, President Lukashenko vigorously refutes any Coronavirus information, as gross misinformation. Corona Ice Capades? Alexander’s favourite sport is ice hockey. He recently played in front of a crowd of 1000s. Interviewed afterwards he said, ‘There are no viruses here! You haven’t seen them flying around, have you? He believes winter sports work particularly well against COVID19. ‘This is a fridge. Sport, particularly on ice, that’s the best actual anti-virus remedy.’ A Vodka a Day... Alexander’s prescription for his fellow Belarusians is to drink 50ml of vodka a day. He’s co...

You Still Alive and Kicking? I checked in with my precious older sister Esme and my brother-in-law Ray last night. It was morning in Blighty and evening in Oz. And guess what popped into the conversation? The friggin’ Black Death! Like the rest of the world, I didn’t see COVID19 coming. Or for that matter, the Black Death being a topic of conversation for my elderly, kith and kin to happily chat about! Obviously, being in their late 70s and early 80s, they didn’t actually remember first-hand the bubonic plague but it was a surreal experience non-the-less. 'Which is worse, Coronavirus or the plague?' Search me? I was just phoning to see if you were alright! They’re both in the sweet-spot, demographic for the virus to have its evil way, so you can understand my concern. A Short History of Virus. As a life-long student of history, it got me thinking about the similarities between the two. Both spread rapidly between countries around the globe, catching governmen...